I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
