So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
