Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
