I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
