Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
