I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
