There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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