PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
