took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
