My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
