im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
