Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
