mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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