Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
