Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
