Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
