The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
