I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
