i need an iv and a liver transplant
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize