whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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