I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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