In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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