Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just want nice things and good sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
