I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Randomize
