He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
