please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
