Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
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