so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
