Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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