My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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