ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So squirting runs in the family.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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