the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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