My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
