Can Purell be used as lube?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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