watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
