WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ladies don't puke and tell
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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