you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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