We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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