What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
