i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
