he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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