He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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