dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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