Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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