Don't you send me to vm
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
