Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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