I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
