your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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