The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
