you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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