return my video game
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize