your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
