the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
