Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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