i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
