he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
