i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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