i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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