just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
