i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
