He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
