I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
