nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
